Waiting Game Over...

...with a BFN again. AF showed her bloody face yesterday (tehe). I'm so dejected, I think I'm done trying for a while. My plans are pretty ruined anyway.

I know, I know. "Man plans, God laughs."

There was a reason that I wanted to have my first child by 25. I never want to be an old mother, I want to be able to be there for my child when I'm older, especially knowing what it feels like to have parents who are not young. I know that people are now having kids when they're 30, and even older! But that just is not for me.

Don't get me wrong, my parents are not very old. And they always provided for me, loved me, cared for me, had fun with me. But at this point I'm 24 and I'm seeing them not able to do as much as they did and I don't want to be like that with my children when they are my age. Maybe I'm crazy, I don't know anymore...

Maybe sometime this year something will give. But at this point, most or all of my hope is gone.