Tough Times

Well...unfortunately this is not a very happy post. In fact, I sit in my old bed right now, my husband next to me...as I write it. 

On February 25, 2014, I lost my grandmother. The dearest and sweetest lady anyone could ever imagine. She was always so classy and so loving. But she was also tough and rugged when necessary. I miss her so much and I cannot believe that she is really gone.

My mom left for Hungary a few days after the news...and she just got home on the 10th of March. Everything was done - the funeral, the cleaning of the apartment, the will was laid out (although nothing will be truly my mom's and uncle's for another six months). A whole security system was placed in my grandmothers apartment and they are going to pay the minimal expenses to keep the apartment relatively livable for now. Who knows what will happen later? 

This occurrence has really shaken my faith and I am hoping that my grandmother really is with my grandfather, her parents, siblings, in laws, etc. I pray that she is happy, healthy, beautiful again. She deserves all of it.

I'm torn up inside and I can't express everything I want to, but I'm trying to understand why these things have to happen. 

Maybe we never find out.

Maybe we find out later.

Goodness only knows.

Nursing

I recently posted a "rant" on my Facebook status that went like this:

I'm not even out of work tonight and I don't want to go to work tomorrow. Bad sign. Really though. 

Oh, and whatever happened to patients respecting their nurses? Seriously, they have no idea what we do. 

Maybe we have 6 patients: some of whom might be total cares, need to use the bathroom every 10 minutes and we have to supervise them, one who is incontinent regularly and we need to clean him/her up, a comfort care patient, someone who just found out they have cancer, etc etc.

Then there is the patient that wants everything done RIGHT NOW. Who doesn't get the fact that we have high acuity patients who LITERALLY cannot do a thing for themselves. Who doesn't understand that we are on our feet for 12 hours with no lunch and minimal help on most days, with doctors and physician assistants on our butts about everything while we need to make sure every detail is cared for - and God help us if we forget something!
So respect for nurses needs to come back in a BIG way. Because no one wants to work a job where abuse and harassment are the norm. That's fact.

That was on February 20th.

Since then, I've been thinking about the patient's who have been absolutely lovely.

So far I've had: former nurses, current nurses, PA's, carpenters, farmers, Amish, young, old, deaf, blind, severely disabled, MR, paraplegic, quadriplegic, bed-bound, active, happy, angry, somber, hip replacements, knee replacements, spinal surgeries, pneumonia, C. diff positive, MRSA, CAPD, heart issues, actively dying, cancer, etc etc.

All of these people, while I can't remember all their names, I can remember the way they treated me. Most were incredibly grateful and happy, others - well, others treated me like I was an uneducated servant, there to fetch drinks and food for them whenever they pleased.

What is the point of this? The point is that I did not become a nurse and go through four years of higher education and spent over $20K of my parents' hard-earned money in order to be treated like a servant.

Yes, I am a nurse whose service is to help people - but it is NOT my job to be called in every 5 minutes by a family member to "fluff mom's pillow" or "open an apple juice."

I am a nurse who is there to save your life if things were to get critical, I am a nurse who is there to comfort you in difficult times, I am a nurse who is there to give you medication that is supposed to help you feel and get better so you can go home, I am a nurse who is there to encourage you when you feel hopeless, I am a nurse who is there to make you comfortable after a surgery, a major illness, or in your final days.

Don't get me wrong. I change linens, I bring people coffee, tea, juice, ice cream, Popsicles, water, food; I take people to the bathroom and clean them up - I do all of these things regularly. I do it with kindness and happiness and have no problem with this.

My problem is when I am yelled at for bringing the wrong beverage, or when I am not in a room within 5 seconds of the call light going off because I am in another patient's room, or when a family member speaks to me as if I weren't a human being, or when I am verbally abused by some young patient who is miserable with his or her own life and will take it out on the nurses that are trying to help him or her.

That is the issue.

I think respect needs to be restored in our profession. We should not have to put on a stiff upper lip and tolerate abusers and users. There should be advocates for our safety and our emotional well-being. Until then, we will constantly be barraged with patient's and family members who believe they are superior to us and can treat us however they wish.

On a happier note though, patient's like this are very special and make us as nurses feel good about what we do:

My offer to help take the blood pressure of the pain in the butts still stands! Just remember we have a major artery in our necks! Just remember that I was a patient for the better part of a year and it was nurses like YOU who made me feel better. Even when you were having a crappy day (due to above reasons) you walked into my room with a smile on your face. Good nurses like you are few and far in between!!!! Just remember when you are having a bad day, YOU made a profound impact on my life. You have a great gift, so if you need to transfer departments then do that but please don't deprive people of your wonderful skills. And I know you don't always see it but there are others like me who NEED people like you and do appreciate everything that you do for them.

(Name not shown due to HIPAA).

Thanks for listening, or rather, reading.

Great verse.

The man said,
                      "This is now bone of my bones
                         and flesh of my flesh;
                       she shall be called 'woman,'
                         for she was taken out of man."

That is why a man leaves his father and
mother and is united to his wife, and they
become one flesh.

Genesis 2:23-24

Pope Francis

One statement in the Pope’s speech has sent traditionalists into a fit of confusion and hysteria. “God is changing and evolving as we are, For God lives in us and in our hearts. When we spread love and kindness in the world, we touch our own divinity and recognize it. The Bible is a beautiful holy book, but like all great and ancient works, some passages are outdated. Some even call for intolerance or judgement. The time has come to see these verses as later interpolations, contrary to the message of love and truth, which otherwise radiates through scripture. In accordance with our new understanding, we will begin to ordain women as cardinals, bishops and priests. In the future, it is my hope that we will have a woman pope one day. Let no door be closed to women that is open to men!”

     How amazing is this? The only Pope who has EVER stated anything like this. So exciting!

Funny

    It's funny how you learn other people's true feelings after you've known them for a while. It's really upsetting when you believe that you have made good friends...and then they turn your back on you constantly. It's getting tiring and very upsetting...I don't know what to do or how to feel anymore. I am constantly upset about my inability to get pregnant, the fact that my hubby and I never got a big wedding - and that even when we told everyone we were married, all we got was a congratulations and that's all. Nothing special. I'm upset by the fact that we are constantly shoved aside like we are nothing. I'm done with these "friends" and "family". The only people we can trust is ourselves and my parents. No one else has EVER been there for us unless they needed or wanted something from us.

Sad.

Long time No Blog

    Long time no blog! I've been horrendously busy, lazy, and exhausted simultaneously!

    We moved into our new apartment soon after my last post. It is so beautiful, I absolutely love it. A lot of work, since we have SO MUCH STUFF, but it is completely worth it. Our floor lamp broke yesterday so we had to replace it, and we found a darling lamp at Walmart that was relatively inexpensive. It looks great behind the sofa bed in the living room!

13th of September, Friday...

    So, someone just posted on Facebook, "Is Friday the 13th still a thing?" I have to vouch, that yes, yes it surely is! I woke up this morning with a 102.0 degree fever. Unknown cause. I started feeling under the weather Wednesday night when I got out of work and the rest is history. My throat started hurting on the right side and I kept alternating between hot and cold (cue song "Hot n' Cold" by Katy Perry now). I didn't think it was anything until I walked into work the next day and felt like I would pass out, so they sent me home. Stayed in bed all day. Muscles ache. It was horrible.

    This morning, though! I was terrified when I saw that my temperature hit a high of 102.4. I told Ian and he made me make an appointment at the Prime Care Clinic. The earliest available time was at 3PM, so Ian told his boss he had to leave early and ran home in the pouring rain to change and get me into the car to take to the hospital. I have the best hubby on the planet. The doctor diagnosed me with either strep throat or pharyngitis. She took a CBC, urine sample, and strep swab - won't get the results until Monday. Until then, though, she prescribed me a broad spectrum antibiotic - Augmentin 875 mg - BID for 7 days and told me to get probiotics, which I did since I know what antibiotics do to me.

    So while Ian and I are waiting for my blood to be drawn, who do we see but our slumlord? Ugh! Friday the 13th. Seriously! We completely ignored him and didn't acknowledge his presence whatsoever, although I saw him staring at us multiple times...that creeper.

    We also went to look at our new apartment again today! It's better than I thought! Haha...I mean, I knew it was awesome before, but going back and thinking about furniture to put in there and where to put it...it's a whole different feeling. We cannot wait to move in! Hoping the current tenant will get her house closing on time, and will be out sooner rather than later!

    That's the news for now. TTYL. <3